


What's Left of Us

by AnnaNocturnal



Series: Requests and Challenges [24]
Category: CW Network RPF, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alpha Jeff, Alpha Jensen, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Beta Danneel, Claiming, Cross-Posted on LiveJournal, F/M, Healing, Heartache, Hollowed Verse, Hurt/Comfort, Knotting, M/M, Mating Bites, Mating Bond, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Medical Trauma, Nesting, Omega Genevieve, Omega Jared, Omega Milo, Pack Building, Pack Dynamics, Pack Family, Post Mpreg, Psychological Trauma, Scenting, Self-Hatred, Self-Lubrication, Sequel, Trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-23
Updated: 2015-05-22
Packaged: 2018-03-31 19:21:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 17,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3989743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnaNocturnal/pseuds/AnnaNocturnal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>IL-01 may have been liberated, along with all of the other omega work camps, but the prison and the events that took place there left its share of scars, both physical and mental. Jensen suddenly finds his pack with four new members when he takes in Jared, Gen, Andrew, and Milo. As the only Alpha, he has to find a way to make it work and heal the omegas, as well as his pup.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Long Road Ahead

**Author's Note:**

>   
>  [](http://tinypic.com?ref=11jloae)   
> 
> 
> **Primary Pairing** : Jensen/Jared - J2  
>  **Secondary Pairings** : Jensen/Danneel, Danneel/OMC, Gen/Milo (romantic)  
>  **Rating** : NC-17 
> 
> **Warning** : retrospective descriptions of physical, mental, and sexual abuse of both adults (graphic and non-graphic) and minors (non-graphic) 
> 
> **Note** : This story is a continuation of a smaller fill, [**Hollowed**](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3960736/chapters/8882383). You should _absolutely_ read that story first, as it will be heavily referenced in this one. I hope you guys enjoy it!  <3

Mornings in the Ackles household used to be simple. Jensen was usually home, unless he was actively filming—which was becoming much more frequent since the documentary on IL-01 and the following liberation of the omega work camps, though it was mostly guest appearances and interviews—so he made breakfast while Danneel got ready for work. Usually Emily, who would be turning three the next month, would be watching cartoons.

In the two months since the liberation, however, life had gotten a little more…complex. Moving Jared in had been a no-brainer—he was Andrew’s omega, after all. But with him came Gen, and she was…well, she and Jensen were still getting a feel for one another. She took to Danneel and Emily immediately, but she didn't trust Alphas in general, and Jensen knew that she didn't trust him in particular. 

The world outside was chaotic, and Gen and Jared were smack in the middle of it. They had both gained some weight, the physical effects of the starvation and suffering that they had endured slowly disappearing behind a greater body mass and a slightly health-flushed complexion. So they were becoming less recognizable, less easily identifiable as the omegas in the documentary, but it still wasn’t enough to shelter them from the prying questions when they went out. Jensen had had to enforce his position as Alpha more than once to get reporters and the general nosey public to back off. 

So the omegas didn’t go out much, and while Jared didn’t seem to mind too much, Gen was climbing the walls. She sat on the kitchen counter near Jensen while he made breakfast, eyeing the omelet in the pan as he flipped it. Where there was food, there was Gen. 

Jensen tried to make conversation with her. “Are you going to the training center today? Or if you want, I’m off today. I could start teaching you to drive.” It had startled him to realize that she didn’t know how, but it made sense—she was thirteen when she was sent to IL-01, and even if she had known how, neither she nor Jared would have driven in the five-plus years they were interred there. 

He tried to be mindful of all of the things that needed to be done to rehabilitate the omegas, but it seemed like a never-ending list, and the resources offered by the replacement council were limited as they struggled to untangle the mess that their predecessors had left when they were taken into custody by the UCP. One of the resources they offered was work training, and idea that made Gen laugh bitterly. 

“You’d think the one thing we would’ve gotten from the camp was work experience, so no I’m not going to the goddamned training center.” Gen was angry. She had a right to be. But it kept Jensen on edge, unsure of when she would be her normal bristling self and when she would just completely lose it. 

Jensen plated the omelet he was making and handed it to Gen. She started eating before it had even cooled, and he winced. She, Jared, and Andrew never let food sit, like they were sure it was going to disappear if they didn’t eat it the second it was put in front of them. Jensen could understand where the fear came from, so he didn’t stop them, but often he forgot to wait to give it to them until it was a reasonable temperature. They never complained, but he could imagine that the roof of their mouth stayed burned and raw. 

“Where’s Jared?” His question earned him a pointed look from Gen as she ate. His shoulders slumped. “Right. Andrew’s with him?” 

Gen nodded. Jensen sat the pan on a cool eye and turned off the stove, bracing himself to head upstairs. Andrew was supposed to finally start day care that day, his pediatrician insisting that now that the majority of his health concerns were being effectively addressed it was important to start integrating the pup into normal social interactions. It was going to take a bit to convince Jared to go with that idea. 

** ~~~ **

Jared’s room was dark, and stifling hot. Jensen felt the warmth pull the air from his lungs as he stepped in, his body taking a second to adjust to such a difference. Jared was always cold, and it seemed to really freak the omega out—the night terrors were worse when it was cold. He couldn’t stand the central air in the house, and even with the vents closed some of it leaked through, but Jensen couldn’t let the July heat leech in and overheat the rest of the pack, so instead he had bought a few space heaters. Jared had set them up in the corners of the room, and they stayed on nearly all the time. 

Jensen couldn’t see Jared or Andrew, but he knew that they were in the mass of blankets and clothes on the bed. A few days after being released from the hospital and coming home with Jensen, the omegas nesting instincts had hit full-force, and it seemed like every extra blanket in the house had gone missing, along with a few of Jensen’s shirts and even a scarf of Danneel’s. The one time that Jensen had tried to clear out the mess, telling Jared that he didn’t need a nest, that he was safe and that the blankets would be in the linen closet if he needed one, no need to hoard them, the omega had become so distressed that Jensen nearly choked on the scent. He hadn’t tried again. 

It wouldn’t be so bad if the omega hadn’t also taken to hoarding food. Because there was no shortage of food, it often spoiled in the nest. Once a week Jensen had to put his foot down and clear that out, explaining to Jared that the room would start to smell and that he could have food any time he wanted, he just couldn’t keep it in the damned bed. 

It wasn’t that Jared was completely feral. But he had come out of the last especially terrifying three weeks at the camp a little worse for wear, and his civilized mind and baser instincts hadn’t quite managed to re-separate themselves yet. He was completely lucid when spoken to, capable of rationality, but his behavior was instinct-driven. The doctors said that he would eventually start to ease back to his previous self. Just had to be patient until then. 

They also said that the adjustment would be easier if he had a _real_ Alpha, if he was claimed, his instincts soothed and reassured that he was being cared and provided for, but well… _That_ was an entirely different issue altogether. 

Jared sat down on the edge of the bed and dug around until he found a spot where the blankets and clothes folded over and then carefully parted them to expose Jared and Andrew. They were awake, the pup curled up against Jared’s chest, the omega’s arms wrapped around him protectively. 

Jared turned questioning eyes on Jensen. “You’re serious about this?” Jensen had told him about the pediatrician’s recommendation the previous week, the Alpha figuring it would be better to give him advanced notice so that he could adjust to the idea. Jared hadn’t been very eager to part with the pup again once they were reunited, though he didn’t stop Andrew if he wanted to come out into the rest of the house to see Gen or the rest of the pack. The pup was actually fairly social, and it happened pretty frequently. 

Jensen sighed. “Come on, Jared, it’s important for him. He’s gotta learn to function in pack, or…” _Or he may as well still be in ill-one._ Jensen had more sense than to say that, but the sentiment hung in the air all the same. 

Jared sighed and unwrapped his arms from around the pup before sitting up. Andrew began to crawl out of the nest and settled himself on Jensen’s lap. The Alpha could see now that he was already dressed for the day, and he smelled like he had recently bathed. So Jared had gotten him ready to go. That was something. Jensen hadn’t heard them moving around that morning. 

“You could come with us. I’m sure Gen’ll jump at the chance to get out of the house, and Danneel left for work. We could take Emily to the park or go out to lunch or something.” He noticed the omega eyeing him warily. “Come on, your nest will still be here when you get back.” 

Jared seemed to consider it for a minute and then nodded, extracting himself from the blankets and padding off to the bathroom. Jensen heard the shower turn on and he looked down at Andrew. “Well, that was surprisingly easy.” He set the pup down. “Go on downstairs; Gen’ll make you breakfast.” 

“Okay.” Andrew raced from the room. The kid raced everywhere, never slowing down. 

Once he was gone Jensen stood up and headed for the bathroom. He knocked before going in and then lowered the lid on the toilet before sitting down. “How’re you doing today, Jared?” 

“I’m in the _shower_.” The answer was pointed, but Jensen could tell that the omega was more trying to avoid answering the question than actually upset that Jensen had followed him in. 

Jensen didn’t answer him, waiting instead for Jared to start talking. Sometimes it took a minute, but pushing it would be more likely to make the omega shut down. Ninety-nine percent of his hesitance about anything was related to the things that had happened at IL-01, and Jensen had found out early on that if he didn’t let Jared mull it over and pull himself out of the thoughts, they would swallow him up. 

Eventually the water turned off and Jared’s arm appeared from behind the curtain to grab a towel from the nearby rack before the curtain opened and he stepped out, the towel wrapped around his waist. 

“I just…everyone knows him, Jensen.” The omega shook his head as he gathered up his discarded tee shirt and pajama pants from the floor and started to head back to his room. 

Jensen got up and followed him, leaning against the doorframe as the omega rummaged through a dresser for clothes for the day. Sometimes the omega seemed overwhelmed by choices; he had worn the threadbare gray camp uniform for too many years to be used to making choices. Jensen had gotten him mostly jeans and plain tee shirts to make it as easy as possible. 

“He’s gonna be alright, Jared.” The Alpha kept his voice steady and calm, as though talking to a horse who may startle. “It’s a really good day care.” 

Jared nodded. “I know that. But this thing was so big… Some of the other pups may have had pack involved; their Alphas may have been guards in camps or…” He shrugged. “I just keep thinking, what if…” He trailed off, afraid to give voice to the things that kept running through his mind. 

Jensen wanted to tell him that he was worrying for nothing, but it would be pointless, and besides, he couldn’t actually guarantee it. His eyes fell on the tattooed numbers on Jared’s shoulder. If he had followed the doctor’s first recommendation and claimed Jared, they would be encircled in a scarred bite mark. Jared’s shoulder was clean other than the ugly reminder. 

Jared noticed where the Alpha’s eyes were fixed and his shoulders slumped. “And I’m still not…” He shook his head. “They said it would happen when I started to heal but…” His eyes were downcast, not looking at Jensen as shame seeped deep into his bones. “What if it never happens?” 

Jensen didn’t have an answer for that. 

The doctors had warned Jared that as he started to heal, his body would begin to restore certain functions that it had shut down to preserve energy demands in the stress and famine it had gone through. That included sexual functioning, and they said that he may very well slam into his heat with no warning one day, and that his heat cycle would take awhile to normalize. But while his secondary instincts, like nesting, returned full-force, Jared hadn’t even started to produce slick again. 

It was a source of both agony and relief. Agony, because there was something deep in his hindbrain that was pained by the idea that he may be barren or dysfunctional. An omega’s natural role was to breed and be sexually compatible with an Alpha. So for his body not to work right brought with it the harsh possibility of being unmated for the rest of his life, that dull ache that had never gone away but had, as Milo told him years ago, become less important over the years settling into permanence in his soul. 

The relief came from the fact that no one in their pack seemed to have any idea how the situation should be handled even if it did present itself. Jensen was mated to Danneel, and the two weren’t unhappy. The traditional pack structure of an Alpha claiming both a beta and an omega had fallen out of normalcy with the passing of the OSA, and it hadn’t been widely practiced since long before either he or Jared presented. The idea of trying to balance himself between two mates made Jensen anxious, and he could tell that it had a similar effect on both Jared and Danneel. Aside from that, Jared was still too unsteady in his new life to be able to really consider being mated amongst everything else. For now, they lived in a sort of partnership as two sets of parents with a common link, and everything had been working well enough. But it was sure as shit going to get a hell of a lot more complicated if Jared’s sexual functioning and instincts were restored. 

“Try not to worry about it too much. Gen hasn’t gone into heat yet, either. It’s probably just going to take some time.” Jensen knew his words wouldn’t be a great comfort. Gen had been brutalized in the camp during her first and only heat, and had experienced a late-term miscarriage of the resulting pup. The doctors said that it was likely that her body was frozen in a nearly pre-presented stage, and that she may never display the functions and behaviors that an adult omega normally would. 

Jared snorted and slammed the dresser drawer shut. It was frustrating. Jared’s mind still reacted to Jensen. The Alpha had been the only one that Jared had ever been with and was the father of his pup; Jared had no choice in the matter. Jensen’s scent peaked, and Jared’s mind started screaming at him. But the physical effects were missing, and it all just added up to Jared being torn between need and inability, and that wasn’t even taking into account Jensen’s mated status. 

“It’ll happen, Jared.” Jensen tried to sound sure. 

“And then what?” Jared sighed, not looking at the Alpha as he dressed quickly. “You’re _mated_ , Jensen.” 

The Alpha didn’t answer him, and after a moment Jared shook his head and left the room, heading downstairs to join Andrew at breakfast. 

Jensen took the opportunity to rifle through the nest, finding as much of that week’s hoarded food as he could and gathering it up to throw out. 

** ~~~ **

The day care that Danneel had picked for Andrew was a small building with brightly-colored walls and an impressive one-to-three staff-to-pup ratio. The staff were all omegas, which seemed to bring Jared some peace of mind. Gen stood by the door and peered around, an interested look on her face. Jensen thought that if she ever agreed to go to the training center, maybe they could find her placement somewhere working with pups. She’d be good at it. As tense and distrustful as she was with most presented pack, she did well with pups, nurturing and patient. 

Jensen held Emily as Jared talked to Sophia, the omega that Andrew was assigned to. They were getting some pretty strange looks, an Alpha with two omegas and two pups. Jensen ignored it, but it seemed to be putting Jared on edge. It occurred to Jensen that the omega didn’t know why they were being stared at, and he remembered the earlier worry that Andrew being recognized could be a problem. 

Jensen leaned over, bringing his mouth close to Jared’s ear as he spoke quietly. “They’re confused about our pack structure. It’s not about the camp.” 

Jared looked doubtful, but Jensen could see his protective hold on Andrew loosening, and when Sophia suggested that she should take Andrew to meet some of the other pups, Jared only hesitated for a second before letting go, his eyes tracking the pup as Sophia led him further into the playroom. 

“He’s gonna be fine, Jared.” Gen’s voice was quiet as she came over and rested a hand on his shoulder. “It’s only for a few hours.” 

Jared visibly relaxed, and Jensen shoved back a stab of annoyance. He could tell Jared all day that something would be fine, and it barely helped. Gen says it, and it’s all good. He reminded himself that Jared and Gen had been through hell together every day for nearly six years, whereas Jensen was the one who had landed Jared there. 

And there was the rub, really. How the hell were they supposed to make this work, figure out all of the little kinks in the system, without the omegas trusting Jensen as the Alpha of the pack? And how could they trust him when it was his fault that Jared had gone through what he had done? 

It was going to be a long road, that was for sure.


	2. A New Horror

The next week they settled into a sort of routine. Each morning Jared got up and got Andrew ready for daycare before sending him down to have breakfast with Gen and Jensen. After he showered himself, he came down and ate and then they all went to take Andrew to the daycare and Emily to the park.

At least, that was the routine until Friday, when the sound of the doorbell rang out as Jared was helping Andrew get dressed. He froze, a small flare of panic rushing through him. It happened every time someone unknown was going to be in the house, and it was annoying but he couldn’t shake it. Ever since he had found out what happened to Chad because of the documentary, he had had the idea in the back of his mind that no matter how many of the council officials the UCP rounded up, someone was still coming for them. 

He pressed his finger to his lips, signaling for Andrew to be quiet and then crept out into the hall, shutting the bedroom door behind him and moving to the stairs, ears strained to hear what was going on as Jensen’s heavy footsteps made their way to the door. 

“Can I help you?” The Alpha sounded unsure, like he didn’t recognize the person at the door, and Jared’s pulse picked up, thundering in his ears and nearly drowning out the reply. Nearly. The voice that answered was loud. 

“Jensen fucking Ackles, right? Well, finally got the right place then! I’m looking for Jared Padalecki? You know, ‘bout so tall, hazel eyes, way too much hair? You knocked him up a few years back and never returned his calls?” 

Jared was so relieved he nearly burst out laughing even as he heard Jensen give a low warning growl. He went thundering down the stairs, skidding into the hall as he twisted to face the door, his feet barely finding traction before he launched himself past Jensen and onto Milo, sending the other omega sailing back off the front porch and into the yard. 

“Milo!” The name was spoken with a relieved laugh. He hadn’t realized just how much he had missed his friend until he saw him again. “Shit, man, how’d you find me?” 

“Well you know, after AZ-24 was liberated I kept hearing about this documentary and this freakish tall omega interviewed by _Jensen fucking Ackles_ and I thought to myself—” 

“I thought, Milo—” Jared mimicked Milo’s storytelling, speaking with him. 

“Exactly, I thought, Milo, there’s probably only one omega in this world with the height of an Alpha who would have the stupid luck of running into Jensen fucking Ackles in a work camp and somehow managing to get us all freed. So I watch the documentary—tore my heart right out, by the way—and sure enough there was your big dumb face.” Milo shrugged. “So I set about finding your ass. Not like I had anywhere else to go. Even if my pack hadn’t finally dumped me in the camp, I wasn’t going back _there_. Went all lone wolf for the last few months.” 

“AZ-24 huh?” Jared echoed, his eyes going to the collar of Milo’s shirt, where the last two digits of his number were visible. When Jared had been interred, Milo was still free. “I’m sorry, man.” 

“Gonna take more than some starvation and horrific gang rape to keep me down. Course, if you ask my old pack, I can’t be raped, so that may be part of it.” The omega’s voice was light, but the normal glimmer of mischief was missing from his eyes and it twisted Jared’s gut. Milo cleared his throat. “Anyway, breed me or get your heavy ass off of me, I can’t breathe. Besides, I’m pretty sure your Alpha’s ready to rip me apart.” 

Jared lifted himself off of the smaller omega and reached out to help him up. “Not my Alpha,” he muttered. 

“Oh. Awkward. Sorry man.” 

Jared turned to see Jensen, Gen, and Andrew all gathered on the porch, Emily balanced on Gen’s hip. Andrew looked confused, Gen looked mildly curious, and Jensen…well, Jensen looked annoyed. “Yeah, you probably shouldn’t have said all of that to him,” he muttered to Milo. 

His friend shrugged, unaffected as ever. “If he’s gonna be all touchy about it, he shouldn’t’ve done it. Alphas, man.” 

Jared sighed before turning his attention back to his pack. “So, uh…this is Milo. We went to college together before…” Again, the reality of the camp hung thick in the air even though it was left unspoken. “Milo, this is Jensen, and you probably remember Gen from the documentary, and Emily and Andrew.” 

Milo’s eyes lingered on Andrew and then Emily for a moment and Jared noticed something flash through his eyes before they flickered back up to Gen. “Well you’re even prettier than I thought you’d be.” 

“Dude, she’s an omega.” Jared shook his head, grinning. 

“And she’s pretty.” 

“Yeah, Jared, I’m pretty.” Gen smirked at him. “Good to meet you, Milo.” 

“We should get going,” Jensen said, his voice sharp as he eyed Milo. 

The omega grinned. “Great, where are we going?” 

“ _We_ are going to drop Andrew off at daycare.” Jensen’s gaze didn’t waver as he tried to stare down the smaller man. Unfortunately for him, he had never met an omega like Milo. 

“Oh great, I love going for rides in the car.” Milo started toward the SUV, pausing to look back expectantly. “Well? Aren’t you guys gonna be late?” 

Five minutes later Jared was sandwiched between Milo and Emily in the back seat. He glowered at his friend, his legs cramped. “Sometimes you bug me.” 

Milo grinned. “Missed you too, man.” 

** ~~~ **

Jared and Milo were stretched out in the grass at the park, faces tilted towards the sun. 

“So who’s Emily’s Alpha?” Milo asked, the question taking Jared by surprise. 

“Jensen.” 

“She’s gotta be about three, right?” Milo looked confused. “How did you two…” 

“Oh!” Jared shook his head. “No. She’s Jensen’s pup with his mate.” 

Milo frowned. “So not only has he not claimed you, but he’s mated to another omega?” 

“She’s a beta. Her name’s Danneel.” Jared shrugged. “She’s nice. Not around much. I think it’s hard on her, suddenly having me and Andrew around. I don’t think I’d like it, if my mate suddenly came home with a new pup and a broken omega in tow.” 

“He was yours first, though.” 

Jared laughed. “He was never mine, Milo.” He shook his head. 

They were quiet for a few minutes. Jared pressed his face against Milo’s arm, just enjoying having his friend back. Gen understood, in a sort of detached way, the omega need for contact, but she was so raw that she herself didn’t really feel it, so while she didn’t stop Jared from touching her or pull away, she didn’t initiate it, and he worried about upsetting her. And Jensen… Physical contact between him and Jensen was awkward and unsure; too much history, too much pain, too many additional factors. Jared got the feeling that Jensen was almost afraid to touch him. So that left Andrew, but when Jared touched Andrew, it was driven by a need to provide safety and comfort for the pup, not to take it himself. Contact with Milo had always been mutual comfort, and he had missed it. 

“Takes some getting used to, doesn’t it?” Milo asked quietly. “Not being surrounded by the smell of rot all the time.” 

Jared’s gut clenched. He and Gen never talked about it, and Jensen didn’t seem to know _how_ to talk about it. Andrew would mention it every once in awhile, but it was with an innocent sort of normalcy. 

Jared cleared his throat. “When I first got out, I kept imagining that I could still smell it. I keep thinking that I’m still there, and my mind’s just shutting down to protect itself, making me think I’m somewhere better.” 

“Well, as far as hallucinations go, this is a pretty crap one, isn’t it?” Milo’s voice was teasing. “Living with the Alpha who bred you and then left you to die, still unmated, can’t even forget about it?” 

Jared bristled. “Come on, man, that’s not fair. He’s… It wasn’t his fault.” 

Milo gaped at him for a moment. “Oh my god, you’re still in love with him, aren’t you?” The look on his face suggested that the idea was personally offensive. “You are; after everything he put you through, you’re still in love with that jerk-off.” 

Jared sighed, closing his eyes. “No, I’m not.” He searched for the words to explain it. “I don’t know how I feel about him, like that. My instincts want him, but that’s probably sense memory, and he’s Andrew’s Alpha but… I don’t know, Milo. He’s trying. Give him a break, alright?” 

Milo didn’t answer him, bringing his arm up to rest over his eyes, blocking the sun. Jared sat up, gaze falling on Jensen as he pushed Emily on the swing. Gen was seated at a picnic table, reading a book. All in all they were a strange pack, but except for the darker moments when the memories would become too much, they were happy. He felt for his friend. Milo had been estranged from his pack even before they had disowned him, living on his own with only fringe contact. 

“Where are you gonna go next?” Jared’s heart sunk as he voiced the question, finally acknowledging that having Milo back was temporary. 

“Don’t know. Not too crazy about the whole lone wolf thing. Might think about settling down. Might just finally off myself, who knows?” The answer was spoken in a kind of offhand way, making it impossible to tell if Milo was joking or not. 

“Come on, that’s not funny.” Jared surveyed the other omega carefully, but no sign of humor came. “After we’ve all got out? After it’s finally getting better?” 

“Nothing’s getting better for me, Jared. It’s the same old crap in a different locale.” Milo shrugged. “Don’t know; I probably won’t. Like the old pack said, I never learn.” He grinned, moving his arm to look at Jared, his expression turning to one of surprise at the look on the taller omega’s face. “Oh shit, man, don’t give me that whipped puppy look. I didn’t mean to freak you out.” 

“You’re talking about _killing yourself_ , Milo.” 

Milo fixed his dark eyes on Jared, and for a moment Jared thought he could see the Milo that had survived AZ-24, rather than the Milo that he had been pretending had remained intact. “I’m just keeping my options open, Jay.” 

** ~~~ **

Jensen kept glancing to the grassy area where Milo and Jared were talking, his nerves on edge. It wasn’t even the omega’s smart mouth or stabbing accusations that were bothering him—he had thought worse about himself since finding out about Jared and Andrew, since hearing the hundreds of voicemails, since having to leave Jared in the camp and then finding him in the hospital. 

No, something else was bothering him about Milo, but he was having trouble placing what it was. It wasn’t until the wind picked up and blew the omegas’ scents towards him, Jared and Milo’s mingled together, that it hit him. 

Milo’s scent was off. He didn’t know what was causing it, but Milo didn’t have the scent of an omega. But he didn’t smell like an Alpha or a beta, either. Jensen froze, staring at the newcomer, trying desperately to place the smell, his hindbrain screaming that Milo was a threat, was an unknown factor. 

He couldn’t do it. He had never smelled anything quite like it. But his mind insisted that there was something unnatural about it. 

** ~~~ **

Jensen didn’t say anything when Milo came back to the house with them, figuring that no matter what was up with the omega, Jared needed the time to reconnect with someone that he had lost. It kicked up something in his instincts to have the unfamiliar scent in the house, though, and he went to his and Danneel’s room after checking on Emily as she napped. He used the time to call his agent, trying to figure out his schedule for the next week. It was beginning to look like he was going to have to either convince Jared or Gen to learn to drive, or hire someone to take Andrew to daycare and make sure that the omegas could get somewhere if they needed to. Even if they never actually left without him, he didn’t want them to feel like they couldn’t. 

He was still shuffling the schedule when there was a quiet knock at the door and a moment later Jared stuck his head in. “Got a minute?” The omega looked nervous, Jensen noted, and it made the nagging feeling in his gut increase twofold. 

“Yeah, come on in.” He watched as Jared eased into the room, keeping to the outer walls. “So in the event that you suddenly need to escape from me, you’re going to use the window? Come on and sit down.” He smiled, shaking his head. He understood the instincts, but sometimes they didn’t make logical sense. 

The omega laughed lightly, though he still seemed a bit nervous as he sat down on the end of the bed. “I wanted to talk to you about Milo…about maybe letting him stay with us for a little while.” Jared rushed on when Jensen opened his mouth to answer. “I know the house is really crowded already, and it’s a lot to get used to, but he’s got nowhere else to go and I’m worried about him. He said some stuff at the park and I think…” Jared took a minute to find the words to say it without actually saying it. “I don’t think he’s going to make it long on his own.” 

Jensen shook his head. “I’m sorry, Jared. I can’t.” The look on the omega’s face was so heartbroken that he felt the need to explain. “Milo doesn’t…I get that he’s your friend but…can’t you _smell_ him? He’s setting my instincts off left and right. Something’s off with him.” 

“Something’s off with all of us, Jensen!” 

“Not like this.” The Alpha kept his gaze steady and his voice firm. “Can’t you smell it?” 

“Smell what?” Jared looked genuinely confused. 

“No, he can’t.” Milo’s voice came from the doorway. He was leaning against it, and Jensen cursed the barely-noticeable scent that let him sneak up on them. “Omegas can’t smell it. Guess it doesn’t matter to their brains, you know? I smell normal to him. Actually, until an Alpha mentioned it, I thought I smelled normal too.” 

Jared’s eyes swung to his friend, confused. “What are you talking about?” 

“AZ-24 had a reputation for handling promiscuous omegas. That’s why my pack sent me so far.” Milo shrugged. “They uh…they had a certain way of dealing with the problem. And that’s why I smell off to Jensen.” The omega sounded unaffected, but Jensen could see that his eyes were dark, haunted as he thought about it. “Far as I can tell, none of the other camps did it. They probably would’ve started eventually, but I guess AZ-24 was sort of the trial run.” 

“What’d they do?” Jared asked. 

Jensen’s gut was twisted in a knot as the omega seemed to consider the question, mouth slightly open as he searched for words. He hadn’t been able to imagine anything worse then IL-01, but if other camps were doing even more terrible things to the omegas interred there… How deep did the rabbit hole go? 

Milo finally raised the hem of his shirt, and Jensen’s eyes fell on a shiny, ragged scar that ran just over the waistband of his jeans. “They spayed me.” 

Jensen couldn’t help it as the smell of his anger and horror at the revelation flooded the room. Both omegas hit the floor, and Jensen had to work hard to get himself under control. It was hard; the action reminded him of the lockdown in the IL-01 mess hall, the resignation and hopelessness in Jared’s eyes as blood seeped across the dirty floor and he covered their pup’s body with his own. 

Finally he managed it, choking out an apology as the omegas slowly relaxed and raised themselves back up. 

“Yeah, so…that’s what Jensen’s smelling. It threw my body and my pheromones all out of whack, so I don’t smell the same to compatible statuses. Actually, I kind of upset them.” He glanced at Jensen for confirmation. “He’s just looking out for his pack, man.” 

Jared turned and looked at Jensen, his eyes pleading. The Alpha sighed and nodded. He couldn’t very well send Milo out on his own like that. He’d never find a pack. The poor guy would be dead within the year, and they all knew it. 

They left, eager to escape the lingering scent in the room. At the last minute, Jared turned back, crossing the room quickly and climbing onto the bed to crawl toward Jensen. The Alpha held perfectly still as Jared wrapped his arms around him, hugging him tight. 

“Thank you.” 

And then he was gone, leaving Jensen to take in the action in privacy. 

It was the first time that Jared had initiated contact with him since the couple of days they spent together six years before. 

** ~~~ **

Since the omegas had come to stay with them, Danneel had been working longer and longer hours. Jensen let it happen, didn’t say anything. He figured she needed some time to adjust to the sudden, unexpected expansion of their pack. Especially with Jared and their pup, the resurrection of Jensen’s history before they had gotten together. 

He was already in bed when she came home that night at eleven o’clock, tip-toeing to the bathroom. He reached over and turned on the lamp on the bedside table, causing her to freeze as light flooded the room. He breathed in deep, the smell that reached him clenching his chest like a vise. Anger, hurt, and guilt coursed through him all at once as they stared at each other. 

“Danneel.” His voice was steady, calm. “I’ve got a houseful of omegas who’re vulnerable and terrified right now, even if they don’t want to admit it. So I can’t afford to flood this house with scent to drive home the point. But listen very carefully to what I’m telling you right now: Whatever’s got you coming home at this time of night, smelling the way you do, it stops _now_. I don’t share my mate.” 

“Then why do you expect me to?” Danneel met his gaze for a long minute, face unreadable, before turning and disappearing into their bathroom. 

Jensen didn’t have a good answer. And when Danneel finally emerged from the bathroom, the scent of the other Alpha washed clean from her skin, Jensen rolled toward her, his eyes meeting hers as he took in the pain and anger that he found there. 

His lips met hers softly, his fingers going to run softly through her wet hair. “I’m sorry, Danneel. So damned sorry.” 

Her scent was deep and laced with pain as she curled into him, crying quietly. 

Jensen had no idea how he was supposed to balance all of this, how he could be what everyone in the pack needed him to be. But he needed to figure it out, and fast.


	3. Taking the Lead

Jensen had barely slept between his mind working overtime and his instincts screaming at him about Danneel. He wasn’t angry at her, but his hindbrain was still insisting that he reclaim, cover her in his scent, remind her who she belonged to. But he was hesitant to act on it. He and Danneel had always worked well as mates, balanced and comfortable. Even at times when he had let go and had been rough and dominating with her, like on the night that he claimed her and marked her as his, it had always been in the back of his mind that she was his mate, that he was supposed to love and care for her and make sure she felt safe. His instincts now weren’t wanting to allow that to interfere, and that made him anxious. He didn’t want to hurt her or scare her, let himself go full-Alpha, the baser animal completely replacing the mate that she knew.

Besides, he had neglected her. Intentionally or not, he had made her feel uncared for and alone. The bond between Alpha and mate was such that she couldn’t have done it otherwise. If her hindbrain still believed her to be mated, then her instincts would have stopped her. He had been so preoccupied with rehabilitating the omegas in the house, so confident in the structure of his and Danneel’s routine, that he hadn’t noticed them drifting further apart, hadn’t noticed how badly it was hurting her. 

Danneel finally started to stir around eight in the morning, and Jensen waited until she opened her eyes, blinking blearily at him, before leaning in to kiss her, needing to show that he was sorry, that he cared. But as she responded, it became harder to ignore the insistence from his hindbrain that he needed to reassert his position as her Alpha. 

He let out a low growl as he rolled on top of her, settling between her legs as he kissed her hungrily, pressing his hardening cock against her core, applying pressure and a slow rolling drag that made them both hiss, the sound chased by a low cry from Danneel as she rocked her hips against him. 

He leaned back, grabbing the waistband of her sleep shorts and tugging them off before pushing her thighs up, exposing her glistening pussy to his heated gaze. He leaned in, about to run his tongue through the wetness, wanting her worked up and desperate before he finally took her, reasserting his claim. But then her scent hit him, stopping him in his tracks as he breathed in deep, dread settling in the pit of his stomach. Something was wrong; her scent was different. _Wrong_ , his hindbrain hissed at him. 

“Did he knot you?” The words were thick, hard to force out of his throat. He did the math in his head, his heart dropping and gut twisting when he realized that his mate was in the very worst part of her fertility cycle for this. Betas didn’t go into heat the way that omegas did, but their fertility peaked every three months in a similar way. One month nearly infertile, one month in which they were pretty unlikely to be bred, and one month where they were crazy fertile. Emily was going to be three in just over two weeks and that meant… “Could you be carrying, Danneel?” 

He could see the answer in her eyes before she even opened her mouth to speak, and it was like a powder keg had been lit in his mind. 

** ~~~ **

“Man, what’s that smell?” Milo shifted around, looking through the nest. 

Jared laughed softly, careful not to wake Andrew where he was sleeping against his chest. “Ham sandwich.” 

“You’re shitting me.” Milo quirked an eyebrow at him. “You’re hiding food in here?” 

“The doctors say I’m nesting. I don’t know man, I just don’t want to be hungry again.” Jared snuggled down further into the blankets. 

“You don’t trust Jensen to keep letting you have food?” 

Jared thought about it. “It’s not that. I trust him as long as he’s here. I just… I guess I don’t trust him to always be here. I keep thinking of reasons that Andrew and I might have to run at a moment’s notice, and it makes me feel better to have stuff on hand.” 

“Gotta tell you, man, a rotting ham sandwich isn’t exactly a solid plan for provisions.” Milo smiled. 

“I never said it was a logical plan.” 

Andrew woke with a start and Jared and Milo both jumped when they heard the loud slam of Jensen and Danneel’s bedroom door, followed by a feral sort of roar and a loud crash. Jared nearly pissed himself in fear, freezing completely as Jensen’s heavy footsteps crossed the hall and disappeared down the steps. Another beat and then the front door slammed. 

Milo started to climb out of the nest. “Wait here.” He hopped down off the bed and then crept out into the hall. Jared heard him swear loudly. 

Jared waited a moment and then finally pulled himself out of the nest. Andrew started to follow him, and Jared considered telling him to wait there, but then decided against it. If there was something going on, it was probably better to have the pup with him, ready to run. 

The hallway was a mess. A framed picture that had hung on the wall between Jared and Jensen’s rooms was on the floor, the glass of the frame shattered and strewn across the hardwood. The plaster of the wall was cracked, making it obvious that Jensen’s fist had connected with it. Jared picked Andrew up and carefully navigated his way through the glass to Jensen’s room, where the door was hanging half off of its hinges. 

The smell of anger and aggression that filled the hall increased threefold when Jared crossed the threshold, and it was only the absence of the Alpha himself that allowed him to keep standing as he surveyed the scene. Danneel was on the bed, hunched over as she sobbed, broken, unintelligible words falling from her lips in rapid bursts. Jared couldn’t make out a single bit of it. Milo had climbed onto the bed beside her, pulling her close to him. It occurred to Jared that they hadn’t actually met yet, but that was just how Milo was—a smartass and a goofball, sure, but wildly empathetic. 

The state of the hall and the beta startled Jared, but not nearly as much as the sharp fear that he was beginning to smell under the hot anger in Jensen’s scent. It wasn’t Danneel’s; hers was slightly smoother, meant to coax out the protective nature in an Alpha. Jensen’s fear was bitter. 

What was the Alpha scared of? 

** ~~~ **

There was a deep sort of personal insult that came with having to go to the pharmacy as an Alpha to buy the after-knot pill. It meant that an Alpha either wasn’t capable of caring for his own pack, or that he couldn’t control his own mate. Either way, it signaled a massive shortcoming in the Alpha. Jensen knew it, and the omega standing beside him as he scanned the selection of pills knew it, squirming in discomfort at the building irritation rolling off of Jensen. 

“If it bothers you so much, stop giving me that fucking sideways look.” It came out in a deep growl, and the omega grabbed a box from the shelf and scampered away. Jensen looked at what the girl had grabbed and sighed, picking up another box and heading for the counter. He queued behind her, and when she set the box down he quickly switched it for the one in his hand. She had grabbed the beta version in her haste to escape. 

The worst part of it was, she wasn’t wrong in her judgement of him as an Alpha. Neither was the Alpha cashier, with his smug grin. Jensen’s pack was spinning out of control, and because it had never been whole and functional, he didn’t know how to fix it. But it all came down to him. It was an Alpha’s job to keep his pack in line. And above all, it was his job to keep them safe. Danneel had put them all at risk, and he had let it happen. He had let himself slip in his role, let her instincts think that she wasn’t being taken care of or that she didn’t belong to him. 

Whoever had bred her would have a legal right to the pup if it was born. And that made the pack vulnerable. That opened them up to an outsider, and being who they were, right after the liberation of the camps, that person could very well have done this intentionally to put themselves in that position. 

If he hadn’t scented the difference, would she have told him? Or would she have let him think that the pup was his until it was born and he scented the lie then? 

She didn’t respect him, that much was obvious. And as he thought of the rest of the pack, he realized that it was true across the board. The omegas may have had their reasons, but it didn’t change the fact that it weakened the pack structure, made them vulnerable. 

Gen stepping in and soothing Jared while Jared didn’t believe Jensen when he said the same thing. 

Milo’s condescending, smartass commentary on his and Jared’s past. 

Jared not saying anything when Milo insulted him. 

Danneel coming home at nearly midnight, reeking of the Alpha that had bred her. 

Every one of those things made them weaker, more vulnerable. And they couldn’t afford that. Half of the house was too raw and vulnerable _without_ issues within the pack. Without security they were never going to be able to stop waiting for the other shoe to drop, never going to be able to heal and move on. 

The only way to create that security was for him to start actually acting like their Alpha. Tiptoeing around wasn’t working, was never going to work within pack. They needed a leader. 

They were going to hate him for awhile. 

** ~~~ **

The back porch was covered in water, the light-stained wood dark around Gen and Emily as they sat cross-legged facing each other. The pup had a wide cup in front of her, half-full of water, with six neon-colored bendy straws sticking out of it. Gen had taken her outside when Jensen had gone storming out, needing to escape the thick scent that quickly built up in the house. To distract herself, and Emily, she was teaching the pup her colors. 

“Okay, Miss Em. Blow in the blue one.” Gen watched with a smile on her face. 

The pup grabbed the green straw. “This?” 

“Is that blue?” Gen raised her eyebrows. 

Emily frowned before shaking her head. “Gween.” 

“Blow in the blue straw.” Gen had played a similar game with Andrew when he was Emily’s age, spending the few scant hours between work in the laundry room and lights out telling him to bring her blue, white, pink flowers from the few wild bushes that grew near the factory. 

Emily’s brow furrowed as she concentrated hard. Finally, she grabbed the blue straw. “This?” 

“What color is that?” It was important to keep guiding the pup when teaching her, or she might default to guessing. The connection had to be forged in her mind between what was said and what she saw. 

“Boo.” Emily sounded sure, smiling up at Gen, baring tiny white baby teeth. 

Gen smiled back. “Then blow in it.” 

Emily closed her lips around the straw, cheeks puffed out as she blew hard into the water. Bubbles burst forth, sending water rocketing over the edge of the cup. Gen smiled as the pup squealed with laughter. 

“Good job.” Gen clapped her hands to celebrate the successful completion of the task. “Now blow in the purple straw.” 

The pup grabbed the pink straw, looking at Gen hesitantly. 

“The purple straw, honey.” 

The pup brought her mouth to the pink straw, eyes locked with Gen in challenge. 

“Miss Emily…” It was a low warning to try to keep the pup on task. 

Emily blew hard on the pink straw, laughter erupting from her as she was splashed with water. Gen sighed. 

Her own pup would have turned five a month earlier, in June, if it had survived to birth. The miscarriage had been late-term, and certain instincts had already triggered. Without an outlet, they festered, opening a gaping hole in her chest and making her feel like she was rotting from the inside out. That was why she liked watching the pups, never mentioned how often it happened while Jensen and the others tried to figure out their shit. It was almost like having her own back. 

The doctor’s opinions on her sliced deep into her soul, sending up a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. The idea that she may never have another heat cycle, may never fully present meant that no Alpha would look twice at her in the world outside of the camps. And she was wary of Alphas. Sometimes she still hated Jensen just for being one, never mind the man’s history with her best friend. It wasn’t his fault, but the distrust and damage went deep. 

But it also meant that this was the closest she would ever get to having a pup of her own—being part of a pack that had them, a step-in nanny omega for when pack life became too hectic for the other members. 

So she couldn’t imagine letting an Alpha touch her ever again, but she desperately wanted the result. And yet, the possibility, the choice had been taken from her entirely. 

She smiled as she redirected Emily to blow in the orange straw, clapping when Emily got it right on the first try, praising her as her heart broke. 

** ~~~ **

Jensen stood outside of the front door, getting ready for what he was about to have to do. It was going to be a long night. He took a deep breath and went inside. The house was quiet, but he could smell the scent trails. Danneel, Jared, Milo, and Andrew were still upstairs. Gen and Emily were out on the back porch. The pups made this harder. He didn’t want to scare them. But he couldn’t trust a five-year-old to watch a three-year-old, and he needed to address Gen as well, wanted to deal with the whole pack at once, since that was how they were going to function. 

That had been the problem, he realized. He had been trying to juggle separate dynamics within one pack, treating each member as a separate relationship. They weren’t. They were one unit. 

He headed for the back porch and slid open the glass door. “Gen. Come upstairs.” 

“In a minute.” The omega didn’t look at him. “Okay, Em, now the—” 

“ _Now_.” The finality in Jensen’s voice surprised even him and he saw Gen bristle. But she stood up and held her hand out to Emily to lead the pup back into the house. Jensen stood aside to let them pass him, and then he followed them up the stairs. “My room,” he said by way of direction. He saw Gen’s eyes linger on the broken hinges, the glass on the floor, and he smelled her fear climb. He let it wash over him, adjusting to it. There was going to be more of it today. 

He walked to Danneel, opening the pharmacy bag and holding out the packet of pills and the bottle of water to her. “Take them. Now.” 

Her scent swelled with grief and fresh tears appeared in her eyes. She shook her head. “No.” 

“I’m not asking you.” Jensen felt his heart drop at the pained look on her face and he let his instincts take a firmer hold, knowing it needed done. “If you don’t take them, then the second it can be done I’ll consent for the pup to be terminated.” 

“It might be yours.” Danneel’s voice was small, hesitant. 

Jensen sighed. “You and I both know that’s not true. Hell, Danneel, your defense last night was that I’m neglecting you. You’ve put the whole pack at risk and even if it _could_ be mine, I’d still need to do this for all of our safety. Now take the goddamned pills.” 

Milo snorted. “Why don’t you just cut her damned womb out while you’re at it? Save some trouble in the future.” 

Jensen growled. “Shut up, Milo.” 

“What? I’m serious. I can say from experience it works like a charm.” 

Jensen was having to fight hard to keep control and not slam the omega into the nearest wall. “I don’t need to explain myself to you. This is my pack; I will do what it takes to keep it safe and I don’t give a fuck if you think it’s fair or not. You and I both know this is nothing like the camps. So fall in line or get out.” Milo glared at him but didn’t move and didn’t say anything in return. Jensen’s eyes snapped to Jared and Gen. “You two; I get that you only had each other for a long time and there’s a certain comfort in that, but you can’t move forward while you’re still clinging to each other. You’re part of a pack now and you’re both going to start acting like it. Gen, you’re going to stop challenging what I tell you. I’m your Alpha, and I am the leader of this pack. Jared…” Jensen paused as Jared flinched. “You’re going to start trusting me when I tell you that you’re safe unless I give you reason to think otherwise. No more food hoarding, no more bucking orders, no more encouraging others to undermine me.” 

The room was silent. Even Andrew and Emily seemed to realize that the situation was serious. 

“We’re going to start acting like a real pack. It’s our only option at this point. We’re not capable of functioning on one-on-one levels if we can’t function all together. Here and now, fall in line.” 

** ~~~ **

Jensen had dismissed the rest of the pack, leaving him and Danneel alone in their room. It was hard not to break down once they were alone. In smaller packs, like they had before the camp was liberated, mates could function as a team rather than a dominant and submissive pairing. He wasn’t used to having to hold back, keep control. 

“Why did you do this, Danneel?” The question was quiet as he sat down on the edge of the bed, keeping a slight distance from his mate as she tensed. “We’re mated. Why wouldn’t you just talk to me? Why would you risk our family by seeking out another Alpha?” 

“Why is it such a risk when _I_ do it?” Danneel looked exasperated. “Like you’re not going to claim Jared the second he goes into heat.” 

“That has nothing to do with this.” Jensen kept his voice steady. “If I breed Jared, the pup is mine, no outside Alpha has any right to it. Having a pup who belongs to another Alpha makes us weak and puts everyone at risk. So there are only three ways to handle this. You can take the pills now, I can order the termination in a few weeks, or you can leave the pack. I love you, Danneel, don’t ever think that I don’t. But I won’t risk six lives for another Alpha’s bastard.” 

“But I’m supposed to just sit and smile while you parade yours around?” The hurt was palpable in her scent, and it called out to Jensen to comfort her, but he couldn’t. He had to get this taken care of; finished. One way or another 

“Andrew was born before you and I met. I’m his Alpha. No one else can legally interfere with the pack because of him. He’s the same as Emily. I can’t make it any clearer than that.” The next part tore his heart open, hurt to say it as he forced the words out, fighting to keep his voice steady and strong, to keep the gut-wrenching despair out of his scent. “If you cannot live as part of our pack, I will cut you loose. I’ll let you go.” 

Danneel was quiet, looking down at her hands instead of at Jensen. Finally she spoke. “He asked me to leave you, you know. Asked me to move in with him; be his mate.” 

Just a day before, Jensen would have apologized, would have kissed her and told her he was sorry and sworn to make it better. But now he couldn’t. “Do you want to go with him?” 

Danneel looked up, her eyes moist. “I… I can’t live like this, Jensen. I’m not from a traditional pack; I’m not happy like this.” 

Jensen closed his eyes for a moment, inhaled deeply. Now that it was happening, he could see it coming. He had said that they were happy, but it was past tense. Danneel hadn’t been happy since he started filming the documentary, since he called and told her about Andrew and Jared. 

He leaned forward, brushed her hair from her face and pressed his lips to her forehead. Because he still loved her, and he didn’t want her to think that he was acting out of anger or hate. “I revoke my claim on you, Danneel Harris.” 

He hadn’t called her Harris in nearly five years. 

She left that night, and though they never mentioned it to each other, every member of the pack watched her go from their separate windows.


	4. Uphill Both Ways

On Sunday, Jensen was a wreck. He had barely slept, tossing and turning when he finally did nod off and getting up at odd intervals to check on Emily, Jared, Milo, Andrew, and Gen. Danneel’s departure from the pack had left him raw and chafed, and he kept expecting them to be gone when he went into their rooms.

He laid in bed for an hour after waking, watching the minutes flit by on the digital clock on his nightstand. He didn’t want to get up; he wanted to just stay there and mourn the loss of his mate. But he couldn’t do that. Couldn’t do it, because the whole point was that he had to be the Alpha of the house, had to regain control of the pack. He needed to finally put his foot down about Jared’s hoarding, clean out the nest. He needed to finally put his foot down about Gen going to the training center the next day. Jared, too, and Milo. He needed to figure out what to do about childcare for Emily while he was at work and the omegas were at the training center. Maybe enroll her in the same place as Andrew. He needed to make an appointment for Milo to see a doctor—he had pretty serious doubts that he had been to one since the initial liberation, and something was off with the omega, probably as a result of the spay. He needed to file his official revocation of claim on Danneel, since he had legally claimed her and registered them as pack. He needed to find a real estate agent because the house was too fucking small for all of the pain it was trying to hold. He needed to get Jared used to the idea that once they found one, Andrew would need to start sleeping on his own. 

He needed to do all of it. He didn’t want to deal with any of it. And as soon as he got out of bed, he’d have to be Alpha. 

He heard the television come on downstairs, the upbeat music of a children’s show filtering through his bedroom door, permanently ajar until he fixed the hinges. Gen was up, and that meant that Emily was up. Jared would stay in the nest all day if he was allowed to, but Milo and Andrew would probably be moving around soon. 

He had to get up. They had to start moving forward today. They had been stagnant for two months, and it was time, whether he felt like he had been ripped open and left to bleed out or not. 

With what felt like a tremendous amount of effort, he hoisted himself out of bed. 

** ~~~ **

Milo and Gen were both in the kitchen with Emily, Gen cooking eggs and bacon while Milo read the paper. 

“The state of our economy, I’m tellin’ ya. Must be all those unruly omegas they cut loose.” He wiggled his eyebrows at Gen and she laughed. 

“Well you know, we _did_ single-handedly wreck the economy a few decades ago. If they’re not careful all half a million of us will bring the country to its knees.” 

After the final purge of the camps, Chad’s estimated living omega numbers had been reduced by seventy-five percent. It was a bitter pill to swallow, and there was something sharp in the omegas’ voices even as they joked. They fell silent as they became aware of Jensen, both of their eyes casting down. Milo sipped his coffee as Jensen walked over and kissed Emily on the top of the head before going to the cabinet and pulling out a coffee mug of his own. Milo saw the Alpha freeze, eyeing the mug, and then he took a second one out of the cabinet before turning and tossing the first one into the trash can. 

“What’d the mug do to make you toss _it_?” The implication in Milo’s tone was clear and he saw the Alpha bristle, smelled the spike of anger. But since the spay, scent hadn’t affected him as strongly, and he maintained eye contact. He wasn’t going to act like he thought what Jensen had done was okay. “Carrying another Alpha’s coffee?” 

Jensen crossed his arms and leaned back against the counter, studying the surly omega. “It was made in ill-one. Any time I find something in the house with a camp stamp on it, I toss it out. Now do you have something smart to say to that or are you ready to step the fuck down?” 

Milo smirked. “Yeah. We’re all stamped by the camps.” He pulled his collar to the side to show his number. “How long until you toss us like you did Danneel?” 

Jensen was moving before Milo realized it, and he was nearly on him before Milo dug his feet in, pushing his chair back from the table as he tried to scamper back and out of range. His hindbrain was screaming at him as the Alpha’s scent climbed, hitting alarming levels. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Gen hit the floor, heard the whimper she let out. 

Jensen heaved Milo up by the collar of his shirt and slammed him into the wall with a loud thump. He held him there with pressure to his chest although his fingers itched to close around the omega’s neck. “Don’t you _ever_ talk to me like that again. Danneel was my mate. It hurt like hell to let her go but she asked and I did what was best for the pack. I will _always_ do what’s best for the pack, and don’t you _ever_ open that smart mouth to suggest otherwise again.” 

The scent finally became too much and Milo whimpered, going lax in the Alpha’s grip. Jensen held him there until the omega tilted his head, exposing his neck, and then let him go, stalking back to the counter to fill his coffee cup. 

He breathed in the smell of Gen’s fear and sighed as he reached over to turn off the stove, removing the now-overcooked eggs from the burner. He wanted to apologize to her for catching her in the crossfire, but in pack moments like that were used as reinforcement for the uninvolved members, and he knew he couldn’t do it. Instead, he didn’t look at her as she slowly regained control of her body and pulled herself off of the floor. He could offer her that dignity, at least. 

Jensen took a drink of his coffee as he left the kitchen, casting one last hard look at Milo, who didn’t meet his eyes. He headed for the stairs, trying to calm his temper before he reached Jared and Andrew’s room. It was going to be a long morning. 

** ~~~ **

Jared’s room was hot, as usual. Jensen wasn’t sure how he and the pup managed to breathe properly half of the time. But it had never been a problem, so he hadn’t bothered to stop it. 

But he was seeing now that just because something wasn’t causing a problem didn’t mean it was a good thing. Allowing Jared to adjust to the damage of the camp just let him live with it; it didn’t help him heal. Making provisions for the possibility of cold and hunger and violence only let him continue to believe that he may experience cold or hunger or violence. 

Jensen went around the room and turned off the space heaters, taking one last drink of coffee before sitting the mug on the dresser and beginning to unplug the heaters. He would store them away. Even with the AC on, it was sixty-five degrees in the house, and there was no need for them. 

“Get up, Jared.” He kept his voice firm. He wasn’t going into the nest after Jared. The omega was going to come out, was going to start rejoining the world. Jensen saw the blankets shift but Jared didn’t emerge. “Now.” 

Something smelled like rotting meat, and he sighed. This had gone too far. 

“It’s Sunday, Jensen. We don’t have to be anywhere today.” The omega’s voice was muffled by the nest but sharp. 

“Doesn’t matter. It’s not good for you to stay in bed all day. And it’s not good for Andrew.” 

There was a pause as Jared seemed to consider this. “I don’t stop Andrew from leaving the nest.” 

Jensen gritted his teeth. “Dammit, Jared, I’m not arguing with you. Get your ass out of the nest, get in the shower, and then come downstairs. I’m going to go over the plan for this week with everyone.” 

Another pause, and then the blankets parted and Jared sat up, his eyes pleading. “I don’t get what the big deal is. It’s not like I’m in danger if I stay in here.” 

“You’re not in danger if you don’t. That’s the problem. You’re using the nest as a security blanket and it’s not helping you cope; you’re protecting yourself against threats that don’t exist when you should be trusting me to keep you safe. Plus, this whole thing is becoming unsanitary. Now go shower.” Jensen stared the omega down until he dropped his head, shoulders slumping. After a moment he began to move, climbing out of the nest and heading for the bathroom. 

Jensen started taking apart the nest, pulling a blanket from the pile and shaking it out, sighing when two stale rolls from Thursday’s dinner fell out. “Dammit, Jared.” The curse was muttered under his breath. His eyes raked through the nest until he found Andrew’s foot peeking out. He tapped it, smiling when it tickled the pup and he shrieked. “Up and at ‘em, Andrew. Gen’s making breakfast.” 

He watched as Andrew disentangled himself from the blankets around him and then ran from the room, his clumsy footsteps thumping on the stairs. 

By the time he heard the shower turn off, Jensen had shaken out the whole nest and bagged up all of the food he had found. He stripped the bed and used the sheets to bundle up the mass of blankets and clothing and started to haul it all to the laundry room, ignoring the whimper he heard issue from Jared’s open door as he reached the stairs. 

** ~~~ **

Jensen crammed as much of the nest into the washer as he could and then went back upstairs to get dressed for the day. When he opened his closet it was a moment before he registered what he was seeing. When it finally did, it made something else click in his mind and he turned slowly to look at his bed. It was completely stripped, down to the mattress. The sheets, blankets, and even the pillows and mattress pad were nowhere to be found. He turned back to his closet. It was completely empty. 

Hardly believing what he was seeing, he went across the hall to Gen’s room, and then next to it to Emily’s room. Both of the beds had been stripped. 

“Goddammit, Jared!” The frustrated roar was loud, and as he reached the omega’s room, he could smell the panic seeping from under the door. He twisted the knob. It was locked. “Fucking—Jared, open the door!” No answer came from behind the door, and Jensen cursed again, trying to remember what he had done with the stupid little tool that came with the interior locks, used to pop the push-button lock from the outside. He had put them away somewhere when Emily started walking and exploring, worried that she’d swallow it, and now he couldn’t remember where. It hadn’t been an issue until now. 

It finally occurred to him to use the adjoining door that connected Jared’s room to Gen’s through the bathroom, and he circled around, hoping that the same idea hadn’t occurred to Jared. It hadn’t. As Jensen opened the door, heat met him. Jared had found the heaters and plugged them back up. How had the omega worked so fast? 

He started digging through the nest, sifting through piles of his shirts and jackets and pants and Jen’s tank tops and jeans and Emily’s Princess Sophia sheet set until his hand closed around Jared’s arm. He strengthened his grasp and pulled, heaving Jared out of the mass and pulling him tight to his chest, feet barely touching the floor. 

“It’s not hurting anything Jensen it’s instinct I don’t know why you can’t just let me do it please it’s important you can’t just take it—” The omega was babbling, panic rushing off of him in waves so strong that Jensen thought he could almost actually see them. 

“Shh, Jared, it’s okay.” He held Jared tight, turning and heading back through the bathroom and then through Gen’s room to the hallway. He had to get him away from the nest, away from his own room. 

He carried the omega to his room and hoisted him up to deposit him onto the bed before climbing on himself. Jared started thrashing, fingers digging into the bare mattress as he scrambled for purchase. Jensen wrapped an arm around his chest, pulling the omega against him, back-to-chest, and hooked his legs over Jared’s to hold him still. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’ll be good, just don’t don’t don’t please—” The quick flow of words and the odd repetition from Jared in his panic made it hard for Jensen to keep up. 

He sighed when it finally connected. “Christ, Jared, I’m not going to claim you to punish you. Just breathe.” He concentrated on his scent, trying to bring the omega down from his panic. “Breathe deep, Jared. You’re okay, I swear it. Nothing’s going to hurt you. Just calm down and breathe.” 

It took nearly twenty minutes before Jared stopped pleading and making the odd desperate bid for escape, another ten for his breathing to even out and his scent to hit baseline. Jensen was exhausted by the time it was over, his head resting against the nape of Jared’s neck, concentrating hard on keeping his own breathing even. 

“You don’t need the nest, Jared.” He muttered after the omega had been calm for a few minutes, his scent showing no sign of the panic climbing again. “You need to see that you’re safe here. I’m not gonna let anything hurt you or the others. I’m your Alpha, and I’m gonna do whatever it takes to keep you safe. You need to learn to trust me, not a nest or a stockpile of old food. I’m not gonna let you or anyone else in this pack be cold or hungry or hurt.” 

Jared didn’t answer, but he stayed calm. Jensen breathed a sigh of relief. His head was pounding as he looked at the clock. It was still only ten in the morning. He already felt like he had gone through an entire day’s worth of crap, and it was just beginning. 

He slowly moved away from Jared, stretching out his muscles, tight from holding the same position for so long. “I’ve gotta go get dressed, and all of my clothes are piled on your bed now. After we go over this week’s schedule, you’re going to help me put everything back where it goes.” He kept his voice firm but soft. “For now, go downstair with the others and wait for me.” 

Jared nodded, eyes downcast as he started to move. Jensen watching him go, making sure he went down the stairs before returning to the new nest and digging out a pair of jeans, underwear, and a tee shirt. 

At least there hadn’t been time for Jared to add any food to the mess. 

** ~~~ **

Jensen flipped through his day planner, frowning. Back when he was working more regularly, he had had an assistant for this stuff, and a lot less need for one. He was developing a new sense of respect for the man; it sure as shit wasn’t easy. 

“Okay. So Tuesday and Thursday I have to work in the afternoon, and on Wednesday I have auditions lined up for a few parts. Monday we’re going for the three of you to take your written tests for your leaner’s permits, and from there we’re going to register you at the work training center.” He wrote it in, his nostrils flaring slightly as he picked up the scent of irritation from Gen. “Problem?” 

“I’m not going to the stupid training center.” She folded her arms over her chest and slumped down in her seat. “It’s run by Alphas, and I’m not exactly eager to be worked nearly to death by a bunch of knotheads. _Again_.” 

Jensen frowned. “Who told you the training center is run by Alphas?” 

Gen looked at Milo. The omega shrugged. “The one in Arizona was.” 

“Well, the one here in Dallas is run by betas. I checked.” Jensen flipped to the next day in the planner. “Tuesday and Wednesday you’ll be there as well. I’ll drop you off after we take Andrew and Emily to daycare and pick you up at the end of the day. Thursday Jared has a doctor’s appointment.” He frowned. “The appointment is at one and my interview is at three. So you’ll have to go with me and miss job training that day.” He glanced at Jared and the omega nodded. 

“Can we all miss job training that day?” Gen looked hopeful. 

“No.” Jensen moved on, not bothering to humor her. “Friday I’ll take you guys to the training center, and then I’ll be meeting with a realtor.” 

“A realtor?” Jared looked confused. 

“The house is too small. When Danneel and I bought it, we had just had found out that she was carrying Emily and we planned on maybe one more pup after her. Now we’ve got two pups and four pack members. Milo, Jared, and Andrew are sharing a room. We need more space.” 

“I like sharing a room with Andrew.” Anxiety peaked in Jared’s scent. 

Jensen sighed. “I know. But it’s not good for him. He needs to be raised neutrally.” 

“Oh, that is such bullshit.” Milo scoffed. Jensen narrowed his eyes and Milo looked down, the memory of that morning still fresh. 

“What does that even mean?” Jared asked. 

It was Gen who answered. “It means that until we know his status, we can’t coddle him like we would an omega, because he might end up too soft and be weak as an Alpha.” She rolled her eyes. “It’s traditionalist pack doctrine.” 

Jared turned hurt-filled eyes on Jensen. “You want me to abandon our five-year-old so that he can be tough _if_ he presents as an Alpha over ten years from now?” 

“Christ, Jared, no one’s talking about _abandoning_ Andrew. He just needs to learn to self-soothe.” Jensen glared at Gen. “I get that you have some beef with traditionalist packs, but don’t scare him like that. I’m from a traditional pack, there’s nothing wrong with it.” 

“Yeah, cause you are the poster child for well-adjusted and nurturing.” Milo nodded amicably. 

“That reminds me. I’m making an appointment for you to see a doctor. The pack GP and a psychiatrist.” Jensen wrote it down in the planner with the long list of people he needed to call that week. 

Milo stood up, his expression offended. “What, because I don’t agree with you I’m insane?” 

“No.” Jensen refused to let the omega bait him or over-simplify the problem. “Because you’ve been _spayed_ , I’m concerned about your hormones and your ability to react appropriately to your fellow pack member’s biological cues, as well as concerned that such a traumatic experience has done long-term damage. Now sit down and stop arguing with everything I say.” 

“Look, fine, I get that. But in case you haven’t noticed, I’m not shy about how I’m feeling. No need to pay some degree-weilding hack to listen to it. Besides, I’ve always been like this. It’s part of my natural charm.” Milo shrugged, a cocky grin on his face. He looked to Jared for support. “Right, Jay?” 

“Milo…” Jared looked pained as he was caught between his Alpha and his friend. “You’re not the same. You’re like someone pretending to be Milo. And I’m worried about you, man.” 

Milo’s eyes flashed with anger. “God, you are still just as desperate for his approval as you were when we were nineteen, aren’t you?” 

Before Jensen could jump in Milo pushed his seat back from the table and stormed off. The front door slammed a few moments later, and Jensen was about to get up and bring Milo back when Jared’s scent reached him. It was potent, a heady mix of anxiety and all-consuming despair as the omega slumped down in his seat. Gen reached out to touch him. 

“Don’t.” The command was sharp and Gen withdrew her hand as though afraid of being burned. Jensen stood up and shut the planner. “Come on, Jared. I need to talk to you.” 

He led the way up the stairs, listening to Jared’s slow footsteps behind him before turning into his bedroom and sitting on the bed. When Jared reached the door he paused and Jensen beckoned him in, reaching out when the omega reached him and pulling him down to the mattress, wrapping his body around him back-to-chest again. He was going to do it every time the omega was upset, until he started to associate Jensen with comfort instead of his nest. 

“Look, Milo’s really hurt, alright?” Jensen’s voice was low as he spoke. “What happened to all of you was awful, and you all need to heal from it, but what they were doing in AZ-24 was a whole new level of cruel. When they cut out his womb, they took part of what made him who he was, and it’s gonna have _huge_ effects on his actions. That’s why I’m trying to get him help instead of making him leave. What he said to you isn’t okay, but don’t let it get to you. It’s his burden from the camps, not anything that you did.” 

“But he’s right.” Jared’s words were barely audible. “I wasn’t anything more than a hook-up that came back to haunt you now I’m here and I cost you your mate and I just keep ruining everything but I don’t want you to hate me and now he thinks that I’m choosing you over him and…” Jared shook his head. 

It took Jensen’s mind a second to pick apart what he had just said. Jared really needed to work on slowing down when he was upset. “God, Jared, you didn’t… What happened with Danneel wasn’t because of you.” 

“If I didn’t want you, she wouldn’t have felt like she was losing you.” 

Jensen closed his eyes, grief rushing through him for a moment before he managed to force it back down. He concentrated on keeping his breathing even, his scent clear as he held the omega tight. 

He listened for the sound of the door opening, but it never came. Milo didn’t seem to be in any hurry to come back. 

He was so absorbed in the issues with Milo and Danneel and Jared that it didn't really hit him until later what Jared had actually said. He had heard the words, but hadn't spared them much thought. 

Jared still wanted him.


	5. Worthless

“An’ he looked at me and he said to m’face, he said Milo, you’re actin’ like someone actin’ like you.”

The bar was small and cramped, the air thick with cigarette smoke. The Alpha he was talking to was boring; probably twice his age but good-looking enough, with soft dark hair and patient eyes. The liquor was cheap quality and overpriced. 

On the plus side, the Alpha was buying and Milo was feeling a lot better than he had when he had left the house nearly—he squinted at the clock over the pitiful “top shelf” bottles—nearly fifteen hours ago. Well. Time really flies. 

The Alpha—Jim? Joe? Jack? John? Milo thought it was John—looked confused by the story. “What does that mean?” 

“He means that I’ve changed. And of course I’ve changed. We’ve all changed. All except him, still gaggin’ after the same old knot.” Milo shook his head solemnly. “But not me. Nah. That pack shit ain’t for me. I’m a lone wolf, y’know.” He slammed back the rest of his drink. “Never needed an Alpha before now. Don’ need one now. No matter what that asshole thinks.” Milo looked at the Alpha; laughed. “He thinks he can boss me around.” 

“You have an Alpha?” 

“I’ve got a jackass who knocked up m’best friend and then left’m to rot. And then he got us librat—libertated—he got the camps shut down so now he thinks he owns us’n Jared just sides with’m cause he’s been in love with’m _forever_ but he won’ just admit it.” 

“Wait.” A sort of clarity settled over the Alpha’s face. “Is your Alpha Jensen Ackles?” 

“Oh, y’know’m too?” Milo scoffed. “Complete jerk-off, right?” 

The Alpha shook his head. “Alright kid, I’m taking you home.” 

“Aren’ y’supposed t’ask nicely first?” Milo smirked. “I mean I may be easy, but’m not easy.” He thought about what he said and then nodded as though satisfied with the statement. He laughed as the Alpha sighed and hoisted him up onto his shoulder, Milo’s upper body hanging over his back. “Whoa! Easy there, caveman.” 

Jeff shook his head. What the hell was going on in Jensen’s pack? 

** ~~~ **

Jensen had barely managed to fall asleep when suddenly he was hurtling headfirst into consciousness again, jerking awake and whipping his head around in alarm. A dark figure stumbled back from where it had been standing by the bed and Jensen peered through the darkness for a moment before he realized that it was Jared. 

The Alpha fell back, breathing hard as he tried to calm down. “Christ, Jared, make a damned noise. Don’t just stare at me like that.” 

“I didn’t want to wake you if you were asleep.” 

Jensen groaned and craned his neck to look at the clock. “Jared, it’s two in the morning.” 

“The room smells too…empty. Without the nest.” Jared frowned. “I can’t sleep.” 

“You should try again. Two in the morning.” Jensen said that, his voice firm, but he moved over anyway and patted the bed to signal that Jared could stay if he wanted. 

The bed shifted as Jared laid down, curling up with his knees close to his chest. “Milo still hasn’t come back.” 

“ _Two in the morning, Jared._ ” There was the hint of a whimper in Jensen’s voice. “I can’t do anything about Milo. He’s not registered as pack yet, and he’s unclaimed. If I could find him I could try to convince him to come back, but even then he could legally refuse and I wouldn’t even know where to start looking for him because _it’s two in the morning._ ” He opened his eyes to find Jared staring at him, the omega’s own eyes big and pleading. “No, I’m serious, Jared. There’s nothing I can do right now.” 

“He could be in danger.” 

“I’m sure he’s fine. He made it for two months on his own before he wound up here. The kid’s a pain in the ass, but he’s either smart or incredibly lucky; either one will get him through the night.” Jensen reached out and wrapped an arm around the omega, pulling him closer, closer to his scent. He could feel Jared’s ribs under his hand, still not enough muscle and fat despite the considerable progress in his physical recovery. The omega still had a long way to go. More weight to gain, still didn’t feel safe, still didn’t trust the world around him. No slick, no heat. 

But he wanted Jensen. And with all of the worries that he had had, that Danneel had had, Jensen had never even touched on the question of whether Jared would want him or not. He had pictured Jared’s first heat as this thing that would need to be _dealt with_ , that he would need to brace himself for and try to decide how to handle as an Alpha in the same house as a traumatized omega. Would it be best for Jared if he claimed him or not? Would it be best for Jared for Jensen to get him through his heat, or to ride it out himself? Did the risks of breeding him in his physical and mental state outweigh the delay to his recovery if he wasn’t claimed? Those were the questions that Jensen had been asking himself. 

He had never asked himself whether Jared would actually _want_ it or not, outside of his heat. Because it was a ridiculous question. Because why, after everything, would Jared still want him? 

Did Jensen want Jared? He had been looking it at through the lens of what was best for the omega. Between Danneel and the pups and Gen and his career picking back up and the constant threats from outside the pack as the country settled from the sudden upheaval, he hadn’t thought about what he _wanted_ , just what needed to be done. 

And even if he could delve far enough into his own mind and emotions to pull that answer out, to turn it over and examine it, it didn’t negate the other questions—what would be best for Jared? 

Jared looked up at him. “What’s wrong?” 

Jensen realized that he hadn’t been keeping his scent in check while he had been deep in thought. Confusion and frustration manifested in scent like distress, and the omega must have picked up on it. Jensen thought about how to answer him—if he should answer him. In the end all he said was, “What you said earlier. I’m having some trouble working it out.” 

Jared went very still, confirming that he knew what Jensen was talking about. “What do you mean?” 

Jensen didn’t want to lay out everything that was going through his mind. It was too much, too complicated. Especially for two in the morning. Especially when he didn’t know how he felt himself; didn’t know how to stack whatever answer Jared may give him against what was going on in his own mind. 

He tried to pare it down, to simplify it, to condense into one single question what he needed to know. But before he could come up with it, the doorbell rang. 

“Grand Central Station at two in the morning,” he muttered, starting to get out of bed. He was both relieved and irritated by the interruption. 

Jared looked alarmed. “Maybe you shouldn’t answer it.” 

“No one who’s here to hurt any of us is going to calmly ring the doorbell. Hell, Milo doesn’t have a key; maybe it’s him.” He hoped he was right as he saw the flare of hope on Jared’s face, but he personally was not looking forward to dealing with the obnoxious omega again. A small part of him had hoped that he wasn’t coming back, that he’d opt out of the pack and just remain friends with Jared from a distance or something. 

Jared started to follow him, but Jensen shook his head. Although he thought it was highly unlikely that whoever was at the door was there to hurt them, he couldn’t risk it. “Wait here.” 

The doorbell rang again as Jensen reached the stairs, and he hurried to it. All he needed was Gen and the pups awake to make this a real party. 

He opened the door, confused to find Jeff standing there. The two men hadn’t seen each other in a few years. They had met up a few times after _Supernatural_ had ended, but ultimately their careers and personal lives had pulled them in separate directions, their friendship reduced to holiday cards and the occasionally overlap in business-related events. 

“I think this belongs to you?” Jeff asked, stepping aside to allow Jensen to see Milo behind him. 

The omega looked half-amused, half-pissed, and it had a weird effect on his expression. He scoffed. “Nah. Not for long, anyway.” His words were slightly slurred. “They’ll get sick of me soon. And then they’ll drop me somewhere, just like the old pack. ‘Specially after this.” He leaned toward Jeff, his voice dropping to a stage-whisper. “He doesn’t like other Alphas touching his things.” He straightened back up. “So yeah. They’ll find somewhere to drop me and you know, I don’t think I have anything left to cut out.” He looked down at his abdomen and frowned. “Ah well. I’m sure they’ll find something. They’re creative, I’ll give ‘em that.” 

Jeff furrowed his brow, trying to work out what Milo was talking about. He looked at Jensen. “What the hell is going on here, man?” 

Jensen shook his head, sighing. “I don’t even know where to begin with this one. What happened?” 

“Thought he was just an omega. Didn’t even mention you until later. He’s been down at the Den for the better part of the night, though.” Jeff shook his head. “I don’t think he’s too drunk. I’ve been pacing him a bit but… He’s been talking about some crazy shit on the way here.” 

“Thanks for bringing him back.” Jensen clapped a hand on Jeff’s shoulder. “I’ll take it from here.” He turned his attention to the omega, who was looking at him smugly. “Alright, you lush. Get in the house; Jared’s been worried sick about you.” 

Milo rolled his eyes but stepped past Jensen into the house. Jensen said a final thanks to Jeff and then shut the door, turning to look at Milo as he tried to figure out what to even do about this situation. An Alpha had brought one of his pack home. Because Jensen couldn’t handle him, couldn’t keep his own pack in line. It looked bad, but more than that it _was_ bad. It betrayed every crack in their structure, every shortcoming of his as Alpha. 

“What the hell were you doing?” Jensen’s voice was low, his eyes narrowed. 

Milo shrugged. “I think after the camp I’m entitled to a little fun, don’t you?” 

“A little—” Jensen shook his head. “Milo, what if that hadn’t been Jeff? What if it had been an Alpha who didn’t give a shit if you were part of my pack or not? What if he had hurt you?” 

“I thought his name was John…” The omega looked confused. 

“John was his name on the show, not his—that’s not the point, Milo! Why would you put yourself in such a dangerous position?” Jensen really wanted to understand. He couldn’t even begin to try to help Milo if he didn’t know what the hell was wrong with him, but he was about at the end of his rope. 

“Why are you so convinced that I’d be in danger? Ever think that I’d want that? God, you Alphas have such damned purity complexes it’s ridiculous! Am I supposed to wait around for some Alpha to decide he’s gonna claim me, because I gotta tell you man, that shit ain’t happening. It didn’t happen the first time, and it hasn’t happened since. You don’t have _one_ claimed omega in this house. Not one! How many virgins do you think you’ve got? Just because I enjoy sex, doesn’t mean I’m in danger. We don’t all need a big bad Alpha to complete us and some of us aren’t willing to sit around and wait for an Alpha to get his shit together like Jared!” 

“Jared has nothing to do with this.” 

“Doesn’t he? You didn’t claim him and he suffered for it, so now you’re trying to make up for that by trying to fix us all. Problem is, there’s nothing wrong with me; it just boggles your mind that I’m not broken and crying for my first Alpha. I gotta tell you, man, you Alphas have some pretty big virginity fetishes. We’re only good for our first knot, right?” Milo cocked his head at Jensen. “That’s why you still want him, isn’t it? That’s why you’re throwing away _everything_. Cause you were there first. And let me tell you man, he wanted you to claim him. Wanted it bad. Stabbed him right through the heart for months when you didn't. And then you didn’t even pick up the damned phone.” 

Jensen opened his mouth, unsure of what he was going to say, but then he heard Jared’s footsteps on the stairs. He looked up as the omega appeared, concern radiating off of him. “Dammit, Jared, get back upstairs!” 

The omega looked surprised but as Jensen held his gaze he turned around. After a moment Jensen heard the bedroom door shut. 

Milo looked thoughtful, staring at the place where Jared had been standing. “How many knots do you think he took in the camps? Cause I can promise you it happened; only way a pup reaches Andrew’s age is if their omega is givin’ it away to a guard or two. Now in AZ-24, we didn’t have to worry about that too much. They drowned our pups. Yeah. You can’t imagine the screaming. But it’s good that Jared had the option, I guess. So how many guards you think he went ass up for? Or were you thinking that wasn’t how it worked?” 

Jensen’s scent spiked hot as he remembered Jared in his bunk, being used by the guard. _“You really are just a bunch of sluts, aren’t you? Weren’t even wet and you still got right on your hands and knees for him, didn’t you?”_ Guilt boiled deep in his gut. 

“Oh…” The sound of realization was a slow drawl as Milo caught the look that flashed through Jensen’s eyes. “You saw it, didn’t you? Must be on the director’s cut of that documentary ‘cause I missed that scene. That why you’re so determined to control him? Saw another Alpha knot-deep in what was _yours?_ Bet it eats away at you but well…you did it. You should’ve claimed him if you didn’t want someone else playing with your toy. Too late now. That bitch has been ridden hard and put up wet, and no matter how hard you try to pretend he’s shiny and new, he’s ultimately worthless—” 

Milo’s words were cut off as Jensen slammed him against the wall, a low snarl ripping from his throat. “Shut up. Just shut the fuck up for once in your life. You have no fucking idea what you’re talking about.” His fingers were closed around Milo’s throat, every instinct in him screaming at him to push down, to squeeze, to silence the man once and for all. “How the hell can you talk about him like that? You’re supposed to be his friend!” 

“And you were supposed to be his Alpha.” Milo’s words were spit harshly around the pressure on his throat. “You were supposed to protect him! It’s too late for that now. You _destroyed_ him.” 

Jensen couldn’t believe the omega was still talking. The potency required for him to start to respond to the Alpha’s scent was mind-boggling. “I don’t know what the hell is wrong with you, but I can’t have this shit in my pack. You’re gonna trigger some shit in Jared or Gen that may just finally wreck them.” He put everything he had into putting Milo into a fog, waiting until his body went pliant, his expression blank before easing up. Maintaining that level of control was draining, and he let out a low groan as he hoisted the omega over his shoulder. 

He carried him out the SUV and dropped Milo in the passenger’s seat before engaging the child lock and shutting the door. Cut off from Jensen’s scent, the omega quickly began to recover. Jensen sighed; that meant he had just barely managed to put him under. He had never encountered an omega who was so resistant to scent. Sure, Gen and Jared were slightly less sensitive to it than most omegas who had maintained freedom throughout the duration of camp operations, but nothing like this. 

He circled around and got in the driver’s seat. Milo glared at him as he started the car and threw it into reverse, backing out of the driveway and then pulling off down the street. 

“What is this, _Old Yeller_? Gonna take me somewhere and put me down?” 

Jensen gritted his teeth. “I’m taking you to the omega shelter. Maybe they can help you.” 

“Yeah, ‘cause that’s what you want; for me to get help.” Milo rolled his eyes. “No Alpha’s interested in helping an omega. You just pass the problem on the first chance you get.” 

“Dammit, Milo, I _want_ to help you! I can’t even begin to figure out how much you must be hurting for your mind to override instinct the way it does, but I figure it’s gotta be bad. But I can’t help you if you won’t tell me what’s wrong, and I can’t risk you hurting Jared. He’s too goddamned fragile right now.” 

“Whatever. I didn’t say anything about him that wasn’t true. He’d be better off dead. An omega’s useless if he’s been bred and not claimed.” 

Jensen slammed on the brakes as everything snapped together in his mind with the last sentence. Milo wasn’t talking about Jared. 

_They drowned our pups._

_That bitch has been ridden hard and put up wet._

_You were supposed to protect him._

_You should’ve claimed him._

_You didn’t claim him and he suffered for it._

_Wanted it bad._

_Stabbed him right through the heart for months when you didn't._

_You destroyed him._

_He’d be better off dead._

_Worthless._

_Useless._

Milo was talking about himself. And suddenly Jensen knew what was going on. Knew what was wrong with the omega. Knew what he was doing. But he knew Milo would never admit it. As long as Jensen kept letting him spin it, he would. 

He turned to Milo. Took in the angry glare and tense posture, the bared teeth. Milo was mad enough to spit. He talked more when he was angry; lost control and let things slip. Jensen needed to keep him angry, keep him impulsive and not give him a chance to brush it away or dismiss it. 

“Man, that first Alpha… He fucked you up big time, didn’t he?” Jensen shook his head as Milo’s eyes narrowed. “Probably promised you forever; promised he’d keep you safe. And you believed him. But then he didn’t claim you. And why would he? Every Alpha knows you can’t breed a bitch. His pack line would’ve stopped there. He’d’ve been stupid to tie himself to you forever. But you thought he would, so you let him knot you. And when he didn’t it made you worthless. Because the only thing an Alpha wants less than a bitch he can’t breed is a bitch who’s already taken another Alpha’s knot. You were never going to be claimed. No one was _ever_ going to love you.” Jensen leaned close to the omega, his voice nearly a snarl. “Stop me if I’m wrong.” 

“Shut up.” Milo’s voice was low and wavering. The faintest hint of distress was starting to manifest in his normally-absent scent. 

Jensen pressed on. “So you started taking any knot you could find. Cause as long as you were fucked full, you could pretend you weren’t completely and totally _worthless_. And none of them ever claimed you; you didn’t deserve it. You were just a bitch to be used—rode hard and put up wet, right? But at least you could have that. At least you could pretend.” 

He was getting further into the realm of speculation, but it all followed, and with each sentence and every flash in the omega’s eyes, he knew he was hitting the nail on the head. 

“But then you got dropped in the camp. And they cut you open and they took the only hope that you had that _maybe, one day_ … And now you can’t even take a knot, can you? Your body doesn’t work right anymore. Your scent repels Alphas. You thought you were worthless before, used up, but now… Now you _know_ it. No one will ever love you and you’ll never be bred and at the end of the day it all comes back to that first Alpha, doesn’t it? Because he could’ve saved you. He could’ve kept you safe. You could’ve been _everything_ to someone. Instead you’re nothing and _you hate yourself so much that it’s killing you_. And if you trust me to keep you safe then when I abandon you you’ll have no one to blame but yourself for believing another Alpha. Cause you know better. So you lash out on everyone else. You want them to give up on you. ‘Cause once the last person who cared about you gives up, sees how worthless you are, then you can give up, too.” 

There was silence as the two stared at each other. Finally Milo’s eyes broke the tense contact as he slumped in his seat. Jensen put the car back into drive and checked his blind spot before pulling a sharp u-turn and heading back to the house. 

“Well I’m not giving up, Milo. You’re not worthless. You can keep fighting me every step of the way, or you can let me help you, but you’re not going down without a fight.”


End file.
